not our path to walk
by Melody Jade
Summary: Leia, Maz Kanata, and a conversation on what it means to embrace the Force without walking the Jedi path. Post RotJ.


Maz Kanata was completely not what Leia expected her to be.

In truth, Leia hadn't known what to expect at all when Han announced his intention to take them on a little detour to "visit an old friend", as he put it, after the latest rounds of discussion between the remnants of the Rebellion and the nascent Senate of the New Republic. She had snarked at him then, "The last time you said that, we walked into a trap and you ended up frozen in carbonite." Han had smirked and replied, "Yeah, well, Lando turned up to be a great ally, didn't he?"

Han had refused to say anything else about his old friend, and so Leia had ignored him for the rest of the journey. As much as she loved the man, he had an infuriating habit of always being able to get on her nerves and drive her crazy. Luke remained silent and calm, the way he had been ever since he had gone for his mysterious Jedi training.

By the time Han and Chewie landed the Millennium Falcon on a lush green planet, near a castle that rose majestically up of the landscape, Leia was pretty much bursting with curiousity. The castle was surrounded by a vibrant forest that reminded Leia of the forest moon of Endor, and overlooked a large clear lake. It was both tranquil and teeming with life, out in the open and bathed in sunshine, and so entirely incongruous with what Leia knew of Han's contacts, his network of smugglers and scums that operated in the shadowy corners of the galaxy.

Maz Kanata was short, wizened, and unassuming, wearing simple clothes and huge eye goggles, and yet the wisdom and age that shone through the woman's eyes was undeniable. Beside her, Luke straightened, drawing in a sharp intake of breath. Leia knew, deep down in that part of her that just knew these things, that Maz Kanata was old enough to see generations of people pass through the doors of her castle, to see empires rise and crumble.

After that, it was a whirlwind of pleasantries (more like barbed insults really, that seemed to be everyone's default interaction with a certain Han Solo) and introductions ("I know who you are. I've seen you all in the holonews"). Maz ushered them into a private dining room, piling them with a delicious hearty dinner and aged Corellian brandy, all the while regaling them with stories of a young, reckless and cocky Han Solo ("He's certainly still reckless and cocky, though definitely not young anymore," she commented to a chortling Maz) and traded stories of their own in return.

Later in the evening, after dinner, Leia found herself alone with Maz Kanata. Han and Chewie had gone on to get roaring drunk with some old friends from their smuggling days, the droids are off somewhere keeping each other out of trouble, and Luke had gone down to the basement as directed by Maz, who claimed that she kept several artifacts of the Jedi down there.

Together, they sat in silence, as Maz prepared tea out of an ancient teapot before pouring it into equally old teacups, the entire set chipped and faded but yet still durable in the way old relics always were.

"Will you join me at the terrace to take in the night air, child?"

"Of course." Leia agreed. She took the tray of teapot and teacups from Maz and followed her through the twisting labyrinths of the corridors until finally, they were out of the main hall and standing on a terrace overlooking the lake. Maz hopped into a low short hammock, clearly custom-made for her. Leia sat down beside her, arranging the teacups on the short table in front of them. With the doors shut, the din of the main hall receded, and all that remained was the still lake and the night sky above, stars twinkling both above and in the lake, and it was very peaceful.

Leia had rarely known peace. There was simply no opportunity to feel peace - there was always some crisis here, or another emergency there, and there was barely any time to stop, let alone relax. But here in Maz's castle, out in her terrace, it was as if time itself had stopped, and it was easy to reach for the peace she had always found elusive in life. Relaxing back in her seat, feeling the breeze on her face, Leia closed her eyes and breathed.

At the back of her mind, she could sense Luke, and the reverence he felt as he looked through the bits and pieces of Jedi history that Maz had carefully kept hidden and safe. She could also sense Han, her mind as always attuned to him, and both the fuzziness of him being drunk and his contentment at being among friends came through loud and clear to her.

She could also sense Maz, whose mind was as still as the lake, ripples barely disturbing the surface even as all sorts of thoughts thrived beneath. When she opened her eyes, she found Maz studying her, aged eyes full of wisdom and knowledge, and Leia figured out what Luke had most likely known from the start.

"You're Force-sensitive," she said. It wasn't a question.

Maz acknowledged Leia's statement with a nod and a statement of her own. "As are you."

"Then you are the last of the Jedi."

Maz chuckled. "I am no Jedi, dear child."

"Why not?" Leia had always been told that she was uncommonly blunt, often lacking tact. It had mainly been meant as criticism, but truthfully Leia never saw it as such. She saw no use for niceties or euphemisms, not in this broken galaxy of theirs where so many things were already fake and duplicitous. So she asked her question with no pretense, making direct eye contact with Maz.

Maz returned her gaze and bluntness with honesty of her own. "It wasn't my path to walk." Correctly interpreting Leia's next question, Maz continued, "The Jedi path is only one path of many toward understanding the Force. And no, the alternative isn't that of the Sith. There are more than two paths one can walk to reach any destination."

Leia thought about how much Luke had changed, how wholeheartedly he had thrown himself into being a Jedi, and she wondered. "Is there really a different path?"

Maz's eyes, when she looked at Leia, were both all-knowing and a reflection of Leia's thoughts. "We ourselves choose the paths what we walk. And what about you, child? What is the path that you walk? Are you Leia Organa, or are you Leia Skywalker?"

Only a few people know the truth of Leia's parentage, and none of them would have told Maz Kanata, but yet, Leia wasn't surprised that Maz knew. Just as how she wasn't surprised that Maz Kanata cut to the heart of the matter so quickly, that she figured out in their first meeting what had been weighing on Leia's mind for a long time now. There was wisdom inside Maz Kanata, cultivated from experience and age, and Leia briefly wondered what else laid beneath the depths of the lake that was Maz Kanata's mind.

Leia took her time to answer the question, gazing out into the vast night sky, analyzing her thoughts and feelings. Ever since the end of the Empire and the revelation of her parentage, she had felt adrift, in a way she had never been before. All her life, Leia had always been bound to one singular cause - the Rebellion. Now that the Rebellion had succeeded, the cause had shifted into building a new Republic from the ashes of the empire. This had been what she dreamt of since adolescence. Leadership was what she knew, what she was brought up and taught to do, and what she was comfortable with, and happy to do for the rest of her life.

And yet... There had always been the feeling that something was missing from her life. And now she finally knew the truth, and realized that part of her had always been missing her brother, her twin. There was also something else that had been missing from her life - the Force, which even now was calling out to her, asking her to accept it, to embrace the ancient energy flowing all around them.

Luke had told her that he was willing to train her in the ways of the Jedi if she was willing, but Leia was still unsure. Luke Skywalker, farmboy from Tatooine, was vastly different from Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, and Leia didn't know if she could throw herself so whole-heartedly into being a Jedi, into giving up her old dream and changing so much of herself.

For the first time in her life, Leia felt like she was being torn in two different, opposing directions. Should she follow her dreams and ambitions, or should she learn about her heritage?

She told Maz everything, stumbling over her words a little, and it was such a relief to finally get all this off her chest. No one else would understand, not Luke who had already chosen his path long ago, nor Han, who had always gone where he wanted. Maz listened attentively, and when Leia finished, she reached out her gnarled hand to Leia, who took it immediately.

"You know who you are Leia, you always have. You've chosen the path you were meant to walk a long time ago, and that doesn't need to change. And the Force has always been a part of you, even if you didn't know it then. Embracing it now doesn't mean changing yourself or your convictions. This isn't one or the other. You can be both Leia Organa and Leia Skywalker."

"But how can I do so without having one consume the other?"

"You integrate them, make them part of a whole." Maz gestured to their surroundings, to the ancient castle overlooking an even more ancient lake. "This castle was built using machines and tools, while the lake was formed through the whims of nature, untouched by anyone for centuries. Both majestic in their own right, it seems unlikely that they can co-exist, because surely one would overwhelm the other. But yet, they didn't. These days, I can't imagine the castle without the lake, nor the lake without the castle."

Leia nodded, deep in thought. "Contrasting each other, but yet still existing in harmony."

Maz smiled at her. "You are a quick study indeed. It is a more difficult path to walk, to maintain this harmony within yourself, but one that I believe you to be capable of."

A path that Leia now realized Maz herself walked every day. "Will you guide me?" she asked.

"Of course." Before Leia's eyes, pebbles of all shapes and colors rose up from a stone bowl set in the ground of the terrace, spinning lazily in a pattern controlled by Maz. "First of all, you need to ensure that both sides are worthy of the other. You are already a great leader, Leia. Will you now learn the ways of the Force?"

Leia nodded, and Maz set the pebbles gently back into the stone bowl that held them.

Leia closed her eyes, and for the first time in her life, reached consciously for the power she always knew was there within her. This time, when the pebbles rose again, it was to a pattern that Leia controlled.

* * *

 **Note:** This was originally posted on AO3 as part of the Maythe4th 2016 fanwork exchange.


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